Post by Lilly-Beth on Oct 27, 2007 6:45:59 GMT -5
The Language Barrier
English is not an easy language. Something that's close to what you might want to say could mean something completely different. Here are some actual things spoken or written by foreigners who are a little rusty on their English.
Signs and Notices:
* "Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose." -- A sign in a Swiss hotel.
* "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time." -- A sign in a laundry in Rome.
# "Dresses for streetwalkers." -- A junk mail ad in Germany.
# "Don't get into this." -- A sign in Japan with the universal "do not enter" symbol.
# "Please to bathe inside the tub." -- A sign in a Japanese hotel room.
# "Our staffs are always here waiting for you to patronize them." -- From an advertisement for a hotel in Tokyo.
# To everyone of the use, Laundromat.
Many people use a Laundromat. Let's comply with the next item to use it for the cleanness safety.
1. Let's read the explanation of the way of using it well, and use the washing machine, the dryness machine properly.
2. Let's wash a hand well before and after a wash.
3. Don't wash the person who get's an epidemic, and clothes which contacted with the person.
4. Don't wash a diaper which urine stuck to, sports shoes, an animal's rug because an unpleasantness is given to the person handled later and it is un-sanitation.
5. Let's bring it back after you spread the wash from the dryness machine and a state is done.
6. Please ask a satellite control person in charge for the inquiry about the establishment, the contact of in case of emergency.
-- Instructions on the wall of the laundry room in a hotel in Tokyo.
# "You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday." -- A sign in a Moscow hotel across the street from a Russian Orthodox monastery.
# "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid." -- A sign in a Japanese hotel.
# "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid." -- A sign in a Yugoslavian hotel.
# "Specialist in women and other diseases." -- A sign outside of Roman doctor's office.
"Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar." -- A sign in a Norwegian cocktail lounge.
"The manager has personally passed all the water served here." -- A sign in an Acapulco hotel.
"Ladies may have a fit upstairs." -- A sign outside a Hong Kong tailor shop.
"Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty." -- A sign in a Budapest zoo.
"Warning: Please do not leave children unattended. We are not responsible for lost children or injuries." -- A sign by an apparently dangerous koi pond in a Chinese Restaurant.
"If a tour group contains more than the number stiputed above, it is different in application. The particulars will be asked the clerk at the window. A man below 18 years old should be accompanied by the adults." -- Rules for touring the Kyoto Imperial Palace in Kyoto, Japan.
Spoken:
* "Hey, you there! Open those windows. Let the air force come in!" -- Spoken by a teacher for whom English was a second language.
* "With you I feel myself in kindergarten!" -- Spoken by a Russian teacher of mathematics to a noisy class.
Brochures and Newspapers:
* "When a passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage tootle him with vigor." -- From a brochure at a Tokyo car rental firm.
# "Come to Juan's Jewelry Shop. We won't screw you too much." -- On cards handed out by a man in front of a jewelry shop in Mexico.
# "A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers." -- From a story in an East African newspaper.
English is not an easy language. Something that's close to what you might want to say could mean something completely different. Here are some actual things spoken or written by foreigners who are a little rusty on their English.
Signs and Notices:
* "Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose." -- A sign in a Swiss hotel.
* "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time." -- A sign in a laundry in Rome.
# "Dresses for streetwalkers." -- A junk mail ad in Germany.
# "Don't get into this." -- A sign in Japan with the universal "do not enter" symbol.
# "Please to bathe inside the tub." -- A sign in a Japanese hotel room.
# "Our staffs are always here waiting for you to patronize them." -- From an advertisement for a hotel in Tokyo.
# To everyone of the use, Laundromat.
Many people use a Laundromat. Let's comply with the next item to use it for the cleanness safety.
1. Let's read the explanation of the way of using it well, and use the washing machine, the dryness machine properly.
2. Let's wash a hand well before and after a wash.
3. Don't wash the person who get's an epidemic, and clothes which contacted with the person.
4. Don't wash a diaper which urine stuck to, sports shoes, an animal's rug because an unpleasantness is given to the person handled later and it is un-sanitation.
5. Let's bring it back after you spread the wash from the dryness machine and a state is done.
6. Please ask a satellite control person in charge for the inquiry about the establishment, the contact of in case of emergency.
-- Instructions on the wall of the laundry room in a hotel in Tokyo.
# "You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday." -- A sign in a Moscow hotel across the street from a Russian Orthodox monastery.
# "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid." -- A sign in a Japanese hotel.
# "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid." -- A sign in a Yugoslavian hotel.
# "Specialist in women and other diseases." -- A sign outside of Roman doctor's office.
"Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar." -- A sign in a Norwegian cocktail lounge.
"The manager has personally passed all the water served here." -- A sign in an Acapulco hotel.
"Ladies may have a fit upstairs." -- A sign outside a Hong Kong tailor shop.
"Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty." -- A sign in a Budapest zoo.
"Warning: Please do not leave children unattended. We are not responsible for lost children or injuries." -- A sign by an apparently dangerous koi pond in a Chinese Restaurant.
"If a tour group contains more than the number stiputed above, it is different in application. The particulars will be asked the clerk at the window. A man below 18 years old should be accompanied by the adults." -- Rules for touring the Kyoto Imperial Palace in Kyoto, Japan.
Spoken:
* "Hey, you there! Open those windows. Let the air force come in!" -- Spoken by a teacher for whom English was a second language.
* "With you I feel myself in kindergarten!" -- Spoken by a Russian teacher of mathematics to a noisy class.
Brochures and Newspapers:
* "When a passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage tootle him with vigor." -- From a brochure at a Tokyo car rental firm.
# "Come to Juan's Jewelry Shop. We won't screw you too much." -- On cards handed out by a man in front of a jewelry shop in Mexico.
# "A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers." -- From a story in an East African newspaper.
